1. Shaved head.
2. Soul patch.
3. If ever I am prescribed glasses, I should get some that look librarian-like.
4. Tats and a piercing (to prove my “coolness”)
5. Cool jeans and sneakers (the skateboard kind) with loud t-shirts. (alternative look: dress like the “Can you hear me now” guy from the Verizon commercials.)
6. Use more slang and also refer to people as “dude” or “man” (I actually have this down; I grew up in the 70’s and came-of-age in the 80’s after all.)
6a. Cussing from time-to-time in the pulpit is a plus. Also, threaten to beat people up every once in a while.
7. Buy a Mac.
8. Quit going to the church to study and instead hang out at, oops, I mean “work from,” Starbucks.
Sadly, it apparently is not enough anymore to pray, preach the Word, minister to the flock and confront the lost with the Gospel. Paul and Peter, poor guys, they just didn’t foresee our age. We’re way too advanced for all that. Nope, God’s way isn’t working well enough anymore; gotta update it.