How to Be a Better Pastor

I have been informed that I would be a better pastor if I were more “hip” and “relevant.” By this I can only assume they mean several (if not all) of the following:

1. Shaved head.

2. Soul patch.

3. If ever I am prescribed glasses, I should get some that look librarian-like.

4. Tats and a piercing (to prove my “coolness”)

5. Cool jeans and sneakers (the skateboard kind) with loud t-shirts. (alternative look: dress like the “Can you hear me now” guy from the Verizon commercials.)

6. Use more slang and also refer to people as “dude” or “man” (I actually have this down; I grew up in the 70’s and came-of-age in the 80’s after all.)

6a. Cussing from time-to-time in the pulpit is a plus. Also, threaten to beat people up every once in a while.

7. Buy a Mac.

8. Quit going to the church to study and instead hang out at, oops, I mean “work from,” Starbucks.

Sadly, it apparently is not enough anymore to pray, preach the Word, minister to the flock and confront the lost with the Gospel. Paul and Peter, poor guys, they just didn’t foresee our age. We’re way too advanced for all that. Nope, God’s way isn’t working well enough anymore; gotta update it.

Advertisements

About Michael R. Jones

Pastor and PhD candidate writing on Paul's theology of suffering.
This entry was posted in Pastoral Ministry. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How to Be a Better Pastor

  1. Terry Lange says:

    It is funny to see how things have changed and what people think is “hip” and “trendy” and how they try so hard to “fit in” and how phony it all is….

  2. What’s funny is how much these kinds of pastors talk about creativity and being themselves when they’re really just trying to be like everybody else in their circles.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s